Within our practice, we are continually told by our teachers to let go. Most of us have had teachers prompt us to 'drop your worries with every exhale,' or 'release what no longer serves you,' or 'let go and release into the posture.' When we are told to 'let go' during physically challenging poses, we need more than brute strength and exertion to evolve our practice. When we finally access a pose that requires strength, balance, and steadiness-it is often because we've learned to see the exploration aspect of asana as equally valuable to the goal itself. We've let go of the need to achieve and surrendered to the process. In this case, 'letting go' means to release any thoughts, worries or fears that keep us from receiving the gifts of total relaxation, rejuvenation and internal energetic release gifted to us by our practice.
The Yoga Sutras explain what 'letting go' really entails. In the translation by Sri Swami Satchidananda, Sutra 1.29 states, "From this practice, all the obstacles disappear and simultaneously dawns knowledge of the inner Self." During yoga, consciously moving towards 'letting go' creates space for becoming more engaged and connected with our inner wisdom and truth. We are no longer held back by limiting beliefs, repetitive thoughts about life circumstance, work, our bodies in asana , or our never-ending to-do lists. We move beyond our desires for our practice to look a certain way. We transcend limitations of the mind and body and step into a deeper knowing. Even though doing so can be extremely difficult and seem almost impossible at times, it is only when we 'let go' that the real yoga begins.
Yoga means 'to yoke' or 'to connect' with our souls and God. Therefore, in order to do so, we must release the worries of the smaller self, if only for our practice. We can think of 'letting go' as happening simultaneously or just before stepping forward into a higher awareness of our bodies, our minds, our hearts and souls.
Sometimes, this feels like release. Sometimes it feels more like acceptance. Sometimes it's more active, like moving forward to pursue higher knowing and trusting inner wisdom. Some days, letting go means celebration, while other days it feels like surrender.
Letting go on our mats as well as in our life takes courage. Letting go is, in fact, the hardest asana. It takes faith. It takes trusting in something that we only see glimpses of.
When we have a deep emotional attachment to an event or circumstance in our life and we're being asked to 'let it go', it can often feel like we're being asked to move on and forget about the past, person, or event that we're deeply connected to. Some attachments are so deeply woven into the fiber of our beings they seem almost impossible to let go. We live in a culture that allows 365 days to 'let go' of the death of a loved one. As such, everyone is patient, loving, kind, and willing to support us going through the first year. However, on day 366 our culture seems to think it's time to get over it, let go, and move on.
Even with my prior experience of letting go with the death of my brother, Ryan and my person, Amy, it took me almost three years to really figure out what it means to let go when what you're letting go of is an essential piece of your heart, soul, and identity.
As a bereaved sibling I struggled for a long time with believing that I had 'the right' to be happy. I struggled with reconciling happy moments in my life with the deep grief I felt for losing my brother, Ryan, who was truly the other half of my soul. Once I learned that life isn't making a choice between the two emotions, but rather learning to balance and integrate them both into each situation, I was able to let go of my belief that I couldn't be happy and begin to hold both feelings. I had to re-engage this lesson when my son was born on the tenth anniversary of my bother's death. To have such joy and such penetrating sorrow at the same time was hard for me. It took many years to be able to balance the two polar opposite emotions and have love and acceptance for both of them. Yoga helped tremendously by allowing me the sacred space to explore the light, the dark and allow healing.
The same happened when I went through a divorce, lost my 'person' and now again with the loss of my father. It is such a strange place to be with the loss of my dad-knowing he is no longer suffering and am glad it is over. It also leaves me without my dad who was my rock. The grief is raw, penetrating, and deep. The other day I was meeting with my pastor and it felt so weird to be talking about the memories of my dad for his memorial service. Watching my mother grieve in her way and of course me in mine, brings back a lot of memories from when my brother died. Things I though I had 'let go' of are back and demanding attention. This time, however, I am looking forward to the process where previously I ran from it, ignored it, and kept busy so things were 'okay'.
These types of events leave us with wounds that are carved deep into our souls and can be much more challenging to overcome. They pound us with waves of feeling overwhelming and leave us with a void that feels insurmountable. The good news is the human spirit has the capacity to overcome almost anything. When we let go of the thought that we can't heal from something that has deeply wounded us, we open ourselves up to the growth potential this event holds. It might take a lot of time, help from professionals, and deep soulful work on our part. But healing from these types of wounds can be the most transformative and powerful things we do in our lives. It is what brought me to yoga for the first time and showed me this is what I was meant to do-teach.
Forgiveness is an important aspect of wholehearted living and healing. It's separate from letting go of attachments that keep you from healing and becoming the incredible individual the world needs you to be.
Letting go is a work in progress. It is a practice. Now, where have I heard that before....?
Let's get to it. Come home to your practice. Onward and upward...
Trish
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