Sometimes in our life we find ourselves in weird heart spaces. Spaces where we question, spaces where we soar and spaces where we sink. Our heart space is an interesting environment to wander through from time to time. Recently, there have been so many things that have happened...things I never imagined possible and some of it nearly broke me, but through Grace alone I kept on going. A few weeks ago I attended my coach's memorial service. This man was so influential in my life. I hear him EVERY DAY in my head....coaching me through various things. I am who I am because of him. His impact is so profound for myself and for countless others. He was so integrated into our family for so many years….it feels odd to know I no longer can pop in and get my pep talk from him.
Walking back into the familiarity of my hometown, reconnecting with dear friends of my past, old teammates, and school was wonderful yet stirred some deeply rooted issues. Unexpectedly running into certain people brought me back to a time and space I had long ago tucked away. They had found their place at that particular time and I tucked them NEATLY away and in a way that made sense! Once I returned home to Wisconsin, I was swirling with the emotions I felt long ago…they were never properly dealt with…I never gave them air to breathe and run their course…..they were never properly processed. It is funny how history has a way of coming back sometimes and typically at time one would deem inconvenient. I was also trying to navigate through a current heart situation with my family and, of course, a personal heart space as well. The triple threat.
It is miraculous how our hearts hold these spaces. Each one unique with their own set of emotions that can take your breath away and level you at any moment while others can make us irritated or make our souls soar. The rooms of my heart have been left unattended for a while so when I sat still and meditated on each situation individually, it was profound to find resolution….answers….closure for all of them. I gave each one processing time….not that their process is fully finished, but the navigation has begun.
As westerners, the search for meaning and purpose can sometimes be a lifelong endeavour. We tirelessly seek and experiment, attend expensive retreats and visit healers, read book after book and dive into workshops that promise to transform our pain into passion and our confusion into divinely guided clarity. Will our thirst for inner peace ever be realized?
Inner transformation requires mindfulness and mindfulness is a lifelong practice that is meant to be lived each day—yoga, for me, has been the most effective medium to connect with God, and my soul's wisdom in order to spark transformation and cultivate inner peace. There are benefits of slowing down and taking time to connect with God and within.
I had to sit with decisions I had made and the reasons I made them in the past. I would not make the same decision today, so it was interesting to explore the heart space I had all those years ago and deal with some underlying issues I had not realized. I had to handle my then 21 year-old heart with grace and compassion and come to grips with the reasoning I had. I also was able to verbalize my process with a dear friend who allowed me sacred space to unload and asked me clarifying questions without judgment. It was wonderful to be able to handle my own heart with grace and have help along the way in doing so.
My current spaces demand daily contemplation as well. Grace totally required. One needs to be held so tenderly to allow grieving to occur all while holding space of strength, understanding and compassion for the others involved. A lot of this heart space is tangled with dark spaces from the past. Again, very unique to have to revisit and once again remind myself of who I was then. Carrying the hearts of others as well as your own is always a daunting task. Honoring all can be difficult and requires patience, honesty, LOVE and GRACE…..so much grace! Navigating your own requires honesty, integrity, and some hard conversations. Sharing things that are painful to you or another, but honoring your truth in them. Authenticity is a must. Meditation and my yoga practice allow me to quiet the logic and listen to the soul’s space. It gives me clarity, strength, and a mindset to enter into those situations and not be reactive…..it gives me a loving presence to witness the hearts of others and myself as we navigate this crazy life together.
As with anything, consistency is key. Developing a regular, intentional yoga and meditation practice has the power to remind us of our infinite connection to all that lies within, so that we may better commune with everything of us. This inner connection allows us to handle, connect and deal with everything outside of us. This is why yoga is a profound and transformational practice to assists us in remembering who we are, why we are here, and what our purpose/dharma is. No mud. No lotus.
We all come here with gifts to share, but it is easy to get caught up in the vigorous flow, and seemingly endless demands of our life, and completely forego this innate connection to Spirit, our souls and the souls of others. Developing this regular practice, however, can be difficult and extremely daunting to begin. BUT if we do….good things come. We can cultivate inner peace and feel God’s peace which transcends our understanding. Our hearts can be open to feel…to hurt….to soar…all the highs and all the lows with the deep rhythm of knowing all things will be okay. Each unique experience our heart holds will lead us somewhere…if we let it…to a space where we begin to grow and blossom. The lotus is becoming in each of us….
Onward and Upward.
Trish
