COMPASSION

COMPASSION

[kuh m-pash-uh n]

A noun to describe a feeling of deep sympathy and sorrow for another who is stricken by misfortune, accompanied by a strong desire to alleviate the suffering.  Better put, a  sympathetic consciousness of others’ distress combined with a desire to alleviate it.

What Is Compassion?

Compassion literally means “to suffer together.” Among emotion researchers, it is defined as the feeling that arises when you are confronted with another’s suffering and feel motivated to relieve that suffering.

Compassion is not the same as empathy or altruism, though the concepts are related. While empathy refers more generally to our ability to take the perspective of and feel the emotions of another person, compassion is when those feelings and thoughts include the desire to help. Altruism, in turn, is the kind, selfless behavior often prompted by feelings of compassion, though one can feel compassion without acting on it, and altruism isn’t always motivated by compassion.

While cynics may dismiss compassion as touchy-feely or irrational, scientists have started to map the biological basis of compassion, suggesting its deep evolutionary purpose. This research has shown that when we feel compassion, our heart rate slows down, we secrete the “bonding hormone” oxytocin, and regions of the brain linked to empathy, caregiving, and feelings of pleasure light up, which often results in our wanting to approach and care for other people.

Yoga on Compassion

"Through cultivation of friendliness, compassion, joy and indifference to pleasure and pain, virtue and vice respectively, the consciousness becomes favourably disposed, serene and benevolent."  

~Patanjali's Yoga Sutra I.33

This is my favorite sutra from Patanjali's Yoga Sutras.  The Yoga Sutras are considered sacred by yogis and are compiled into four chapters containing 196 sutras, or words of wisdom. Patanjali constructed his work in 400 BC when two styles of teaching collided. (Samkhyan philosophy was known as the older style.) Little is known about Patanjali himself, although he is not the creator of yoga, this scholar was a great expositor. 

Yoga master, B.K.S Iyengar decodes the sutras beautifully in his book, Light on the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali. In his interpretation of I.33 he states, "This sutra asks us to rejoice with the happy, to be compassionate to the sorrowful, friendly to the virtuous, and indifferent to those who continue to live in vice despite our attempts to change them." It is this translation that continues to encourage me to trudge along a compassionate path. I say trudge because it is arduous to continuously be gentle and soft in the way you relate to yourself and others, as Patanjali advises.

I don't know about you, but this is a hard life assignment. We are human; we are going to form opinions and will have judgments. One of the reasons why I’m so attracted to this sutra is because it seems as if my life work is to remain indifferent to the faults and imperfections of others, despite my attempts to change them. It is difficult for me to find empathy for those I can’t relate to.  My response is typically “Rub some dirt in it and move on!” I have grown to empathize (although not as much as others). I think this began to take shape within me after my brother was killed and took solid root only after I had children.  I will admit I am just not wired that way.  There is a running joke among those that know me—Need empathy?  Send Trish!  And they laugh….What can I say?  I am a work in progress!!

I remember when I was a waitress, I could never (and still don’t) find warmth for that customer who snaps their fingers to get my attention……I had another response J For many of us, it maybe that neighboring car that ignores your flashing blinker and refuses to let you into their lane. Does road rage ring a bell to anyone? On a more serious note, how could we ever feel compassion for someone who's committed a violent crime?  Can you imagine experiencing mercy for all beings, including murderers, rapists, and abusers? Or is this something we leave up to the monks, priests, pastors and ‘enlightened ones’?   I laugh here because God calls EACH ONE OF US to do JUST THIS……JUST as HE DID for US by way of His son, Jesus, and the cross.  Amen to THAT!

At least I am not alone in my struggles. Even revered yoga teacher, Judith Lasater admits to the frustrations that come along with practicing sutra 1.33.  She shares, "just as with amity, dispassion, and goodwill that Patanjali encourages, expressing compassion is definitely a learn as you go process. It is also cumulative. We can strengthen our ability to be compassionate by repeatedly expressing compassion...It is always a partner with wisdom, which is gained from experience. And this experience leads directly back to compassion."

As the pace of our society picks up and as we change into more of a “I, me, mine” society, we’re becoming more desensitized to others' feelings and also to our own. It's almost like we don't have time to stop and feel. When we aren't properly processing our own trials and tribulations our brains and hearts can become too full to fit in anyone else's struggles. It's almost like our baggage is too heavy to help relieve someone else of their load. Yet, it's through the experience of our own struggles that can lead us to empathic behavior towards others suffering.

Several years ago, I was battling some serious prognosis and was left feeling defeated and vulnerable. I was forced to limit my movements. No yoga, no running, no swimming, no biking–even long walks were a stretch. For someone who moves their body for a living and who has their entire life, this was quite a shock to my system and a huge blow to my ego. I pushed myself (of course) and taught my normal yoga classes. Looking back, those were the most loving and authentic classes I had ever taught. Because I was feeling so raw and exposed, I felt sincere unconditional love for the strangers, the regulars and the friends in front of me. My instructions were softer, my words were encouraging and I had nothing to hide. I became more in tune or present with the energy of those around me and realized just how broken down everyone was! My individual suffering had shifted to the awareness of a universal suffering, which made me feel less alone.

Upon doing further research on this topic, I was relieved to find scientific proof that loving one another is in our DNA.  Renowned geologist, Charles Darwin declared that, “Sympathy is the strongest instinct in human nature.” In the documentary I am Neurobiologist, Jonathan Height fought hard to prove this point as well. "We are hardwired for a compassionate response to the trouble of others,” he declared. There is even a word in Sanskrit made to spread the news of our innate goodness and that word is Sri. It's one of my favorites.

Remember, a harmonious life and a complete understanding of our basic sameness is the pot of gold at the end of the road of compassion. Nelson Mandela, a man who trudged along this road for many years reminds us not to worry if we have forgotten, for our empathy can be taught. So I’ll leave it up to him to conclude:

"No one is born hating another person because of the color of his skin, or his background, or his religion. People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite.”

Onward and off your mat!