COMPASSION
[kuh m-pash-uh n]
A noun to describe a feeling of deep sympathy and sorrow for another
who is stricken by misfortune, accompanied by a strong desire to alleviate the
suffering. Better put, a sympathetic consciousness of others’
distress combined with a desire to alleviate it.
What Is Compassion?
Compassion literally means “to suffer together.” Among emotion
researchers, it is defined as the feeling that arises when you are confronted
with another’s suffering and feel motivated to relieve that suffering.
Compassion is not the same as empathy or altruism, though the
concepts are related. While empathy refers more generally to our ability to
take the perspective of and feel the emotions of another person, compassion is
when those feelings and thoughts include the desire to help. Altruism, in turn,
is the kind, selfless behavior often prompted by feelings of compassion, though
one can feel compassion without acting on it, and altruism isn’t always
motivated by compassion.
While cynics may dismiss compassion as touchy-feely or irrational,
scientists have started to map the biological basis of compassion, suggesting
its deep evolutionary purpose. This research has shown that when we feel
compassion, our heart rate slows down, we secrete the “bonding hormone”
oxytocin, and regions of the brain linked to empathy, caregiving, and feelings
of pleasure light up, which often results in our wanting to approach and
care for other people.
Yoga
on Compassion
"Through cultivation of friendliness, compassion, joy
and indifference to pleasure and pain, virtue and vice respectively, the
consciousness becomes favourably disposed, serene and benevolent."
~Patanjali's
Yoga Sutra I.33
This is my favorite sutra from Patanjali's Yoga Sutras.
The Yoga Sutras are considered sacred by yogis and are compiled into four
chapters containing 196 sutras, or words of wisdom. Patanjali
constructed his work in 400 BC when two styles of teaching collided. (Samkhyan
philosophy was known as the older style.) Little is known about Patanjali
himself, although he is not the creator of yoga, this scholar was a great
expositor.
Yoga master, B.K.S Iyengar decodes the sutras beautifully in
his book, Light on the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali. In his interpretation
of I.33 he states, "This sutra asks us to rejoice with the happy, to be
compassionate to the sorrowful, friendly to the virtuous, and indifferent to
those who continue to live in vice despite our attempts to change them."
It is this translation that continues to encourage me to trudge along a
compassionate path. I say trudge because
it is arduous to continuously be gentle and soft in the way you relate to
yourself and others, as Patanjali advises.
I don't know about
you, but this is a hard life assignment. We are human; we are going to form
opinions and will have judgments. One of the reasons why I’m so attracted to
this sutra is because it seems as if my life work is to remain indifferent to
the faults and imperfections of others, despite my attempts to change them. It
is difficult for me to find empathy for those I can’t relate to. My response is typically “Rub some dirt in it
and move on!” I have grown to empathize (although not as much as others). I
think this began to take shape within me after my brother was killed and took
solid root only after I had children. I will
admit I am just not wired that way. There
is a running joke among those that know me—Need empathy? Send Trish!
And they laugh….What can I say? I
am a work in progress!!
I remember when I was
a waitress, I could never (and still don’t) find warmth for that customer
who snaps their fingers to get my attention……I had another response J For many of us, it maybe that neighboring
car that ignores your flashing blinker and refuses to let you into their lane.
Does road rage ring a bell to anyone? On a more serious note, how could we ever
feel compassion for someone who's committed a violent crime? Can you
imagine experiencing mercy for all beings, including murderers, rapists, and
abusers? Or is this something we leave up to the monks, priests, pastors and ‘enlightened
ones’? I laugh here because God calls
EACH ONE OF US to do JUST THIS……JUST as HE DID for US by way of His son, Jesus,
and the cross. Amen to THAT!
At least I am not alone in my struggles. Even revered yoga
teacher, Judith Lasater admits to the frustrations that come along with
practicing sutra 1.33. She shares, "just as with amity, dispassion,
and goodwill that Patanjali encourages, expressing compassion is definitely a
learn as you go process. It is also cumulative. We can strengthen our ability
to be compassionate by repeatedly expressing compassion...It is always a
partner with wisdom, which is gained from experience. And this experience leads
directly back to compassion."
As the pace of our society picks up and as we change into
more of a “I, me, mine” society, we’re becoming more desensitized to others'
feelings and also to our own. It's almost like we don't have time to stop and
feel. When we aren't properly processing our own trials and tribulations our
brains and hearts can become too full to fit in anyone else's struggles. It's
almost like our baggage is too heavy to help relieve someone else of their
load. Yet, it's through the experience of our own struggles that can lead us to
empathic behavior towards others suffering.
Several years ago, I was battling some serious prognosis and
was left feeling defeated and vulnerable. I was forced to limit my movements.
No yoga, no running, no swimming, no biking–even long walks were a stretch. For
someone who moves their body for a living and who has their entire life, this
was quite a shock to my system and a huge blow to my ego. I pushed myself (of
course) and taught my normal yoga classes. Looking back, those were the most
loving and authentic classes I had ever taught. Because I was feeling so raw
and exposed, I felt sincere unconditional love for the strangers, the regulars
and the friends in front of me. My instructions were softer, my words were
encouraging and I had nothing to hide. I became more in tune or present with
the energy of those around me and realized just how broken down everyone
was! My individual suffering had shifted to the awareness of a universal
suffering, which made me feel less alone.
Upon doing further research on this topic, I was relieved to
find scientific proof that loving one another is in our DNA. Renowned
geologist, Charles Darwin declared that, “Sympathy is the strongest instinct in
human nature.” In the documentary I am Neurobiologist, Jonathan Height
fought hard to prove this point as well. "We are hardwired for a
compassionate response to the trouble of others,” he declared. There is even a
word in Sanskrit made to spread the news of our innate goodness and that word is
Sri. It's one of my favorites.
Remember, a harmonious life and a complete understanding of
our basic sameness is the pot of gold at the end of the road of compassion.
Nelson Mandela, a man who trudged along this road for many years reminds us not
to worry if we have forgotten, for our empathy can be taught. So I’ll leave it
up to him to conclude:
"No one is born hating another person because of the
color of his skin, or his background, or his religion. People must learn to
hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes
more naturally to the human heart than its opposite.”
Onward and off your mat!
