Here we are at the precipice of fall and many of us feel an inner stirring….a need to change….a need to shift. Our bodies crave comfort foods rather than the tropical citrus delights of summer. We have an inner yearning to ground down, snuggle into that brilliant sweater or hoodie and feel the crisp air in our lungs. I love the change as it makes me delve inward and check in for the harvest—the harvest of the seeds planted before and learning what took root and what did not. I liken the inward journey to peace and war. It is the brilliant excavation of our resounding stillness that only love can provide along with all the shadows, trauma, and turmoil of our life’s journey. We have all suffered and we have all failed. We all have experienced loss and betrayal. We have experienced anger, hurt but have also soared with love and excitement.
I used to funnel my anger and discontent into physical activity and had little inclination for inner work. I aspired tog realness and thirsted on leadership type training, but never wanted to spend time trudging through the muck and mire of my being. God had a different plan in store for me—one that I did not expect, but now years later, those that knew me long ago say, “Yeah I can totally see this as this is you/“ Well what a surprise. I always thought I would never be married and be highly successful at my career; powerful, financially better than most, the best in my field. We make plans and God laughs.
My brother was killed sometime ago and this October he would have been 40. Through his death, my life took unexpected twists and turns. I realized how truly empty my goals were. Grand goals? Yes. Achievable goals? Yes. Fulfilling goals? Nope…..not even a bit. What I once thought would be the epitome of my existence now was like an anchor pulling me deep into darkness. Through my very best friend, Tammy, I found light and life in my most darkest moments on this earth. Even though she has recently expressed to me how she felt she failed me at that time, she could never know how her love for me changed me. She always asked me asked me those inward questions. She knew every inch of my being and the eternal bond of my brother’s and my relationship. She lost him as well. The inward journey is one that never ends and can provide endless wonder. I came to faith in Christ and discovered how He was always pursuing me. I discovered yoga that not only made my relationship with God profound and live, but it also gave me the tool set and strength to look deep within. It is there that I discovered that I held onto the woulds of losing my brother, Ryan, like a badge of honor. I was afraid if I let them be healed that it meant my brother did not exist or that the bond we half was not true. I thought if my heart was healed then I would forget him. Seriously? How crazy is that??!!
Our bodies store everything that happen to us—the good, the bad, the sad and the brilliant. Our experiences become our biology. We all come to yoga for different reasons, but I think we all at some point discover this inward journey. Our job is to become better in each and every moment so that we can be available to join God on His mission which is already taking place….right here….and right now….in your life whether you believe in Him or not. I call my process the way of the Peaceful Warrior. It is on-going. It is yoga. It is life.
Peaceful Warrior: A seeming oxymoron that is a symbol of grit and glory. A concept that pushes those of us who embrace it into a need to shift from competitive to collaborative minds and hearts. There is a myriad of ways to do the dirty work of knowing yourself. There is no best principle, book, teacher, religion to follow just as there is no best exercise, diet, sport or way of life. There is only the best one for each of us at any given time of life. Think of this self-excavation concept as a highway whose trajectory will help us understand and navigate the complex world of our own personal growth. In other words, each of us a car on a highway driving different vehicles and choosing different exits on the road of life. We each go at our own speed and get on and off the highway as we desire. The caveat is that without a destination in mind, there is no journey. Through our yoga journey we discover our reactivity, our compensatory patterns in body, mind and life. We can quiet ourselves to hear what our inner wisdom has to say, what it has to release, and what it has to nurture. Breathing in to our body’s tensions provides us a looking glass into the things long forgotten and those which are deeply stored. We connect back o who God intended us to be and become aware of our own inner spirit, our will and the desires of our heart.
This type of heart centered spirit helps us turn what we know and what we believe into what we do. Our external changes affect the world and our internals changes affect ourselves and those around us. Both are necessary if we are to live a heart-centered life….whole-hearted living. By letting go of the dis-ease within we create a more brilliant person who will positively affect our loved ones as well as our sphere of influence. By tuning into our inner sanctum, we can learn so much about life and how much more fantastic it can be. We need to be the change. WE need to be brave to face our darkness and our demons so that our light can shine on in this world.
Life comes at us in waves of change. When we learn to surf these waves of change, we realize that the quality of our moments become the quality of our lives.
“When moment is experienced as joy, it adorns our lives, makes our days go better, and fives us something to look forward to. When movement is joyful and meaningful, i may even inspire us to do hints we never thought possible.” ~Sott Kretcman, Penn State University Professor of Exercise and Sports Science
Do some yoga. Make some changes. Be brilliant. Go. Do. Now.
Upward.
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