I heard a reading from a book called The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are by Brene Brown. (Brené Brown, Ph.D., LMSW is a research professor at the University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work. She has spent the past decade studying vulnerability, courage, worthiness, and shame.) This book, as its title suggests, is a great accumulation of research on a movement of letting go, on becoming more mindful about what is truly important in our lives, what is worth working towards. Sounds familiar? Yep, we hear these messages in our yoga classes.
The chapter read was about Play and Rest (Chapter 7). It was about letting go of exhaustion as a status symbol and productivity as self worth. Which is hard. In our circles, the first questions people ask are, "Who do you work for? How many degrees do you have? How many weekends a month do you work?" We seem to think that the more overtime hours we put in, the more exhausted we sound, the more important we are. Why is that anyway? When did this become a badge of pride? There are times in our lives when overworking is inevitable. When times are calmer, Dr. Brown suggests taking a good look at ourselves by making two lists: one of things that bring us joy and meaning and another list of dreams. Making a list of "joy and meaning" - when things go well in your life, when you feel happy what does it look like? Dr. Brown and her family's answers included: "sleep, working out, healthy food, cooking, time off, weekends away, going to church, being present with the kids, a sense of control over our money, meaningful work that does not consume us, time to piddle, time with family/close friends, and time to just hang out". Comparing this list with their dream list - accomplishments and acquisitions mainly--bigger house, cars, large salary goals - on this list everything requires making and spending more money.
They realized that by letting go of the items on the second list, the things they wanted to acquire and accomplish, they would be living fulfilled NOW!! Not in the future, but RIGHT NOW!! Just as any changes in our habits, our outlook, our routine, this is yet another not-so-easy process. It does not mean that you will not move into that bigger house, have that car, get the degree, but it helps put things in perspective. It will make you realize if you really need it, or you want it because that is what you think you are supposed to want or have. Allow yourself more time and clarity of what is truly important and time to reflect on what makes you happy NOW.
Well, I went home and made my list. There were some surprises, some question marks, and some stuff to work through. It was a great exercise! It will take some time to live by it and I am aware that the list will change as my life circumstances change. One thing that I came away with was that meaningful work does make me happy. I am so happy every time I step on the mat. I am happy when I am teaching yoga. I am happy when I am writing. If I can be lucky enough to do those for the rest of my life...
I wish you good soul-searching, finding things that truly make you happy and enjoying them…..NOW!!! 'One of these days" is exactly now! Make this summer a SUMMER TO REMEMBER--the SUMMER OF NOW. Embrace the important things and live your dream TODAY. Discuss your list with your spouse/significant other/family/children/best friend and have them make theirs. Create a list together and STICK TO IT! Keep each other accountable!! Toss out the stuff that no longer serves you. Embrace the stuff that sets your soul on fire! Why is it when our schedules get hectic, our bucket-fillers get ditched? Now how crazy is that??!!
Yoga teaches us to be present so let's take that off our mats and into our daily walk. Look at your schedule and make yoga your sanctuary time on a regular basis so that your reflections on what's truly meaningful is cultivated each and every day…hopefully on your mat and off… Let us embrace the sunshine, the warm weather, the outdoors, each other and ENJOY our present moments!!
Yoga On!
Trish
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