Our bodies store everything that happens to us, both positive and negative experiences.These experiences enter our bodies as energy and are stored at the cellular level. These experiences are triggered by an event in our lives that causes us to identify with the pain, love, hate, frustration, joy, laughter, etc. creating havoc in our physical and emotional being. (Not following this? Think of the last time you did a hip opener and held it for a substantial period of time!)
Our shadow side (negative experiences) cater to our egoic self and tend to have a life of their own that will create other negative situations in order to feed itself. The magnificent part is that we can learn to recognize our self destructive tendencies (the old tapes we play in our head). We then can see them as having no validity and disengage from them - all by training ourselves to be in the present moment where there are no 'stories'. God created us to be magnificent so any tape that is not in love needs to be ejected!
After my brother died, I moved to Dallas, Texas. I knew no one. I had an Aunt about an hour from there, but we were not really close. I had no idea of how I was going to pay the rent each month or where I was going to live. It was just me, the huge Uhaul, and my car in tow behind it. I had always thought my life would consist of an executive position with a high income attached, a great house, and eventually a husband. I was not so sure about children. My relocation for no other purpose than 'to get out of here' proved to be transformational.
I was always living fast and living large. When I settled in the south, things changed. My perceptions of who I was and what I wanted and valued in life all settled into....well, me. I was afraid of instability as I was a planner and fear gripped my heart and took my breath away at the thought of loving anyone with my whole heart. I was afraid they would be taken from me as my brother was. My vision of what success meant and was, was annihilated. It was awesome! I was shook to the core of my being and all I had was me and my slowly developing faith in God.
I could finally shift into the present moment to feel these fear/anxiety sensations my emotions were identifying with. I would then silence myself, walk in nature, and commune with God. Almost instantaneously the fear dissipated and I was left with a feeling of calm and peacefulness. I would do this over and over and over until the rent was paid and I had reprieve for another month. It was such an important training as I was working through this particular pain-body. I learned to let go of my preconceived ideas of how I would make my living. No high paying executive-ship with a nice business card and title. I was an aerobics instructor and a waitress at the time and had left money and the business card position behind in Illinois. I loved every second. Eventually I created more and more stability. In the meantime I was developing a closer relationship with God and 'the Now'. I was experiencing first-hand how this relationship was developing the gifts from being in the moment. I was my own Mantra as I kept coming back to my Self and to God. Over time this eventually changed--this back to Self and then to God.
I moved to Florida on a whim and then moved to Oconomowoc because a friend of a friend needed a roommate. Each move gave me new lessons on who I was in God's eyes, not my own or this world's. My mantra now? Well it is seek God first and Family (husband and children)second. 'Self' is last on the list: my, oh my, how things change....I feel fuller of life and full of peace even when I get caught up in the 'story' I still feel the peace underneath it all. Every second was a gift of learning who I was and what I wanted, not what my parents wanted for me, not what I was brought up to think in my community, but what I--just Trish--wanted or needed to feel fulfilled. It surprised me to learn it is not stuff, a house, or a great titled job. It was peace in my heart and to slow down....to be quiet enough...to hear the voice of God.
As yoga teachers and students, we train ourselves to be in the present moment each time we meditate, do pranayama or our asana practice with mindfulness. So when a situation arises we can more easily switch off the addictiveness of a particular story or world view as we have created the mental muscles with the power to quickly disengage us from the tentacles of the 'story'. Then, by being connected to God and in the Now, rather than full throttle ahead, we create new neural pathways based on His/our deeper truth. We become who we are authentically created to be.
Isn't that fantastic? Imagine if the whole world was doing that instead of blaming Presidents, situations or others!! Off the mat and into the world with all of it!
With deepest gratitude for the lessons you and life have all taught me,
Trish
