My Yoga Journey

When I first found yoga, I was in a life situation that demanded I get out of my head and into the silence of my own heart so that I could hear God's voice and direction. This yoga class was everything I should have hated: slow moving, silent, 75-minutes to cover THREE very basic postures (staff, tree, and table top), and it took 8 weeks to build the sun salutations.  I was used to going mock 2 with my hair on fire. Even with all this, I fell in love with my yoga class, for it was the one class where I wasn't judged on how good I performed, or if I looked the part, or anything. I was allowed to be, to breathe, and to receive, instead of "do." I truly fell in love.  It may have been the first time IN MY ENTIRE LIFE I actually exhaled.

Like any new relationship, I had to have my yoga wherever I went.  I couldn't afford to continue yoga classes, however I instinctively did yoga on my own. I was working on my yoga relationship and reaping the benefits. I was thirsty for yoga knowledge and techniques.  I read anything I could get my hands on. This relationship supported me through many bad life situations.  It changed me in so many ways;  changes that lead to stepping away from a bad situation with someone I loved, to making new friendship choices, to viewing 'success' as a place in my heart and not large numbers in my bank account, to viewing life in simple pleasures and not huge accomplishments, to enjoying rest, to leaving a path of working in a field I enjoyed  toward the path of becoming a full-time yoga mom.

They say that love ripens over time, and I gotta tell you, it really is true. Love has a way of changing our world in more ways than we could ever imagine. My relationship with yoga has continued to grow deeper over the last 14 years because I got to know more about each aspect of myself through the poses, the sequencing, the history, and the philosophy. I could easily spend every waking moment with my yoga-love, and still learn more. The relationship that I have with yoga at this point is so much deeper than when I was in the 'honeymoon' period, and I was so fulfilled.

After the first 4 years of teaching almost every day, blended with a devoted practice every day, I found myself - gasp! - sometimes kinda sick of yoga. I never could admit it; who can admit that they don't want to be with their yoga? Yet I longed for a conversation about something else - even taxes would be more appealing. So, after these first 4 years of teaching constantly, I started to wonder what else was out in the world.  It was around that time that amazing teachers started to cross my path, to bring new insights into my "love" and help me grow even deeper in love with yoga, myself and ultimately God.

This bliss has continued for years. And every few years I still get that phase where I don't like yoga. I want a break. Can I break up with yoga? What I've learned is that I get to give myself some space, without breaking up. I get to take a spinning class, or I get to sit on the couch and watch a movie instead of be on my mat. I get to walk 22 miles with some friends and laugh until my belly hurts. I get take road trips with my children and my friends. I get to spend even more time in conversation with God (By the way, my goal is one coninual, non-stop conversation with God). By giving myself this space, it always brings me back to my yoga with a renewed sense of appreciation and value.

Yoga has taught me so much about relationships. For one, a really, really good relationship is one that comes from the gift of time, and during that time, you may not like your beloved. Also, like deep relationships, I now see more inside my "love" than on the outside. It has taught me that I can love someone in my life, and not like them today, but not stop loving them. It has taught me that I can love my own self, while not liking certain behaviors in the moment, and not stop loving myself. It has taught me to seek God in each and every moment for without that I will never feel whole, complete, and content

My devotion to God and my yoga are ones that won't ever stop.  What I used to do on my mat 14 years. 8 years, even 3 years ago is different than what I do on my mat now. I'm absolutely fascinated with how I now sequence my practice and play on my mat, although I thought I had everything down years and years ago!!! This teaches me to not hold on to what I'm doing now, but be open to how things will change in my life and on my mat in the years to come. I'll still be on my mat, and I know it will be different, but I have a feeling that I will be amazed with new discoveries, as much and even more so than I am now.

So as the winter brings this year to a close, I salute and welcome the future.....no matter what it holds....the good and the bad.....for it is all one big lesson on how to BE.....not do.  Just open your heart and BE.

Thank you for another amazing year of sharing life together.
Namaste,
Trish

Inner Peace

Anything done repeatedly over a long period of time has the potential to get boring, route and mundane. One of the main reasons why the initial glow of the romance period of yoga fades is because the practice has actually managed to sink down and penetrate a deep layer of consciousness. At this stage boredom is actually an obstacle to spiritual growth not just an annoying thing to face each day on the mat. If you have the courage to move through it just on the other side of boredom is deep and lasting peace, unity with yourself and the strength and determination to live with integrity. Boredom is an important maturing phase of the journey inward and one that is only experienced by a practitioner who has already committed themselves to the daily practice.

Whenever you feel lackadaisical about your yoga practice look for small instances of beauty in each posture and allow every breathe to rekindle the flame of inspiration. Observe your feelings of boredom, but do not let them rule your actions and one day you will feel a deeper and more lasting sense of peace. Allow curiosity to bring new presence to your practice in each moment. When the basics of physical practice are established deeply, you are more free to explore the subtleties of alignment, breathe, philosophy, emotion, and inner awareness. Only when you do your yoga practice far past the initial point of infatuation will you know that this practice has the lasting power to be a lifelong commitment.

When you can see the beauty of all life shining with the power of creation regardless of time or location, yoga has worked its magic through you. Beyond the 'wow' phase of yoga, you confront the monotony of doing the same routine everyday and if you stay with your yoga practice through this inevitable period, you will one day tap into a limitless wealth of wisdom. You have to do your yoga practice so much that it is not special anymore.....so that you can learn to experience a kind of specialness that NEVER fades and a beauty that is truly eternal.

Inner peace is there....connected to God.Now is the time.....
See you on your mat,
Trish

Seize the Day!

It's easy to seem peaceful in the quiet cave of your own mind. It's much harder to face the test of integrating your learning with your life. No matter how peacefully you might leave your daily meditation or yoga practice, there is nothing like a seemingly callous or thoughtless comment from a friend to trigger the stickiest habitual patterns.

Know that in moments when your emotions seem larger than you, there is the real meat of personal transformation. If you practice regularly you will see that no emotion, no thought pattern, no physical condition has power over you. If you run or fight, you create more of the suffering that you desperately want to escape. What you work with in each yoga practice (or meditation) is the strength it takes to maintain your equanimity in the face of the vicissitudes (unexpected changes, especially in one's fortunes) of life.

It is easy to write and read about these things and harder yet to live them. You might find yourself having days of constant connection and then days of reactivity where you are embroiled in the messiness of interpersonal relations. You might find yourself sometimes reaching a state where your presence is a gift to those around you and then moments later acting out a juvenile pattern. It is all part of a greater process.

If you feel drawn to the deep inner work of yoga, begin it now. Who you are matters to everyone in your life, to your loved ones, to the people at the coffee shops, at the airports, and in the traffic jams.

Your realization matters on so many levels. There is a world of deep connection and joy available to you right now. It starts with your experience and never ends. It is infinite. Just like you. Just like our connections.

Seize the day!

Many  Blessings,
Trish

Motivation....What exactly is it?

Wikipedia defines Motivation as the activation or energization of goal-orientated behavior. Motivation is said to be intrinsic and extrinsic. The term is generally used to describe human motivation. According to various theories, motivation may be rooted in the basic need to minimize physical pain and maximize pleasure, or it may include specific needs such as eating and resting, or a desired object, hobby, goal, state of being, ideal, or it may be attributed to less-apparent reasons such as altruism, selfishness, morality, or avoiding mortality.

Can you remember the last time you did yoga?  How did you feel before your practice?  How did you feel during your practice?  How did you feel after?

It is easy to get side-tracked from something we love so much.  Our lives are hectic an when they are, it is so important to stay grounded in things that bring about and cultivate peace and harmony within ourselves. What is interesting is that when life does happen, we often let go of those things that bring us joy.  Do you ever regret going to a yoga class?  Have you ever said, "I should have stayed and worked longer?" Most of us find yoga a much to look forward to release, so why then do we let something so precious go by the wayside?

Our yoga community is here and available because of one simple reason: your self-motivation.  The studio's teachers' passions would be unrealized and this yoga community would vanish.  What motivates you to come practice? Let's be honest and say savasana, those last 10-15 minutes of bliss created during practice;  a small slice of heaven, the calm in our storm.

The bottom line?

If it were not for you, this studio would cease to exist.  Keep us around.  Stay motivated and come to your mat.....you'll never regret it.

Namaste,
Trish

Internal Shift

So how are we all doing on our spring cleaning? Are you getting rid of nasty habits and fears? Are you creating sacred space for your new manifestations? Are you becoming aware of the same old tapes playing over and over and over, that keep you from being the outstanding human being that you are?

Our bodies store everything that happens to us, both positive and negative experiences.These experiences enter our bodies as energy and are stored at the cellular level. These experiences are triggered by an event in our lives that causes us to identify with the pain, love, hate, frustration, joy, laughter, etc. creating havoc in our physical and emotional being. (Not following this?  Think of the last time you did a hip opener and held it for a substantial period of time!)

Our shadow side (negative experiences) cater to our egoic self and tend to have a life of their own that will create other negative situations in order to feed itself. The magnificent part is that we can learn to recognize our self destructive tendencies (the old tapes we play in our head).  We then can see them as having no validity and disengage from them - all by training ourselves to be in the present moment where there are no 'stories'.  God created us to be magnificent so any tape that is not in love needs to be ejected!

After my brother died, I moved to Dallas, Texas.  I knew no one.  I had an Aunt about an hour from there, but we were not really close.  I had no idea of how I was going to pay the rent each month or where I was going to live. It was just me, the huge Uhaul, and my car in tow behind it. I had always thought my life would consist of an executive position with a high income attached, a great house, and eventually a husband.  I was not so sure about children.  My relocation for no other purpose than 'to get out of here' proved to be transformational.

I was always living fast and living large.  When I settled in the south, things changed.  My perceptions of who I was and what I wanted and valued in life all settled into....well, me.  I was afraid of instability as I was a planner and fear gripped my heart and took my breath away at the thought of loving anyone with my whole heart. I was afraid they would be taken from me as my brother was. My vision of what success meant and was, was annihilated.  It was awesome!  I was shook to the core of my being and all I had was me and my slowly developing faith in God.

I could finally shift into the present moment to feel these fear/anxiety sensations my emotions were identifying with. I would then silence myself, walk in nature, and commune with God.  Almost instantaneously the fear dissipated and I was left with a feeling of calm and peacefulness. I would do this over and over and over until the rent was paid and I had reprieve for another month.  It was such an important training as I was working through this particular pain-body.   I learned to let go of my preconceived ideas of how I would make my living.  No high paying executive-ship with a nice business card and title.  I was an aerobics instructor and a waitress at the time and had left money and the business card position behind in Illinois.  I loved every second. Eventually I created more and more stability. In the meantime I was developing a closer relationship with God and 'the Now'. I was experiencing first-hand how this relationship was developing the gifts from being in the moment. I was my own Mantra as I kept coming back to my Self and to God.  Over time this eventually changed--this back to Self and then to God. 

I moved to Florida on a whim and then moved to Oconomowoc because a friend of a friend needed a roommate.  Each move gave me new lessons on who I was in God's eyes, not my own or this world's.  My mantra now?  Well it is seek God first and Family (husband and children)second.  'Self' is last on the list: my, oh my, how things change....I feel fuller of life and full of peace even when I get caught up in the 'story' I still feel the peace underneath it all. Every second was a gift of learning who I was and what I wanted, not what my parents wanted for me, not what I was brought up to think in my community, but what I--just Trish--wanted or needed to feel fulfilled.  It surprised me to learn it is not stuff, a house, or a great titled job.  It was peace in my heart and to slow down....to be quiet enough...to hear the voice of God.

As yoga teachers and students, we train ourselves to be in the present moment each time we meditate, do pranayama or our asana practice with mindfulness.   So when a situation arises we can more easily switch off the addictiveness of a particular story or world view as we have created the mental muscles with the power to quickly disengage us from the tentacles of the 'story'. Then, by being connected to God and in the Now, rather than full throttle ahead, we create new neural pathways based on His/our deeper truth.  We become who we are authentically created to be.

Isn't that fantastic? Imagine if the whole world was doing that instead of blaming Presidents, situations or others!!  Off the mat and into the world with all of it!

With deepest gratitude for the lessons you and life have all taught me,
Trish

Constant Connection

Yoga at first glance seems only like a really cool way to bend and twist your body while washing and folding your joints. Sometimes the hot bodies of yoga teachers and long term students entice many to practice in the hopes of getting that almost famous toned, slim yoga body. Yet even though some students find their way into yoga because of the external form of the postures, the heart of yoga is a sincere spiritual investigation of the inner self. The highest potential of yoga practice is a constant connection with God that we we can know and experience. If practiced with diligence over many years, yoga connects us with an imperturbable, eternally calm place within. But yoga done without the intention of true inner peace and connection with God uses the body's outward appearance as a goal in itself and has more in common with sports and fitness than traditional yoga.

While I love sports and fitness, I am careful to distinguish yoga from sport. Yoga is not athletics though it asks the body to perform very athletic feats. It is tempting to create an exercise routine based on the techniques of yoga to stretch and strength the body. But the deeper benefits of yoga cannot be distilled and separated from the true intention behind it--the goal of inner peace. The body or the level of physical performance in yoga is never an end in and of itself. In fact yoga actually teaches you how to release attachment and identification with the body, the mind and the emotions. Instead, yoga teaches practitioners to learn how to identify with the seat of the soul within themselves. It is by challenging and moving past the known limits of the body that practitioners ultimately learn that they are not bound by their physical form. Through facing and transcending mental and emotional boundaries yoga students get first hand experience of their limitless potential for greatness. Yoga is a path of liberation from the material world of mind and matter. It is a door into the inner world and a life devoted to inner peace.

Physical form and posture, although extremely useful along the way, are not the end goal of yoga. It simply does not matter whether your hamstrings are long or your body is toned if you are not able to be a nice person. Alternatively a person practicing the most basic and beginner level of yoga while maintaining a heartfelt devotion to living a more peaceful life is perhaps a very accomplished yogi. Yoga without a foundation in the philosophy of liberation is just stretching. Whenever excited students would bring in photos of contortionists and other extremely bendy people to Sri K. Pattabhi Jois,  he would take time to look deeply at the image. Then after a moment of reflection his furrowed brow would raise and he would say, "That not yoga. That only bending. Yoga means self- knowledge."

When students are enamored with the appearance of a posture it is often actually a deeper inner longing that is expressed. Yoga is a non-denominational, non-religious study of the inner self through daily direct experience. The stated goal for all dedicated practitioners is to know God and His Spirit within, on a daily basis. The physical postures and daily practices aim at establishing a basic level of health in the body, peace in the mind and equanimity in the emotions. The body itself is not the stated goal. Instead the body and the mind are two sides of the embodiment of each human spirit on Earth. Yoga practitioners maintain a healthy body in the same way monks sweep the temple grounds--to provide a clean, clear space for spirit to live. It is a mistake to think that the goal of yoga is only to get strong and flexible. Yes, you will get a strong, flexible body if you practice yoga. But if you focus exclusively on the lithe form you will miss the real gift of yoga, that is, inner peace. The physical transformation in yoga is not the result of targeted toning techniques but instead occurs when deep psychological and emotional patterns are surpassed. Your body changes as your mind evolves. The yoga body is actually just a by-product of the exponential growth that happens when searching for your true, authentic self. The body only changes when you literally stretch your mind.
Namaste,
Trish

Spring Up Some Silence

Have you every noticed how noisy we all are? In the last twenty years, we have invented and now need iPods, iPhones, CDs, portable DVD players, louder motorcycles, super jet engines, walkie-talkies, reality TV shows, music videos and Starbucks.

Silence is like a dirty word in the modern vocabulary. When you sit with another person there is an almost irresistible urge to speak. Sometimes you converse about important subjects and sometimes you just talk. This meaningless, friendly chit-chat about light-hearted matters is a kind of social sport. Imagine the awkwardness of a first date where you sit together without this lively banter--a boring disaster.

Modern, or shall we say post-modern, life has a soundtrack. Make a playlist for a long drive, flight or walk. Throw a party, hire a DJ. Go to a yoga class, move to spiritual tunes. At least, this is what you are conditioned to expect when you live in a world ruled by constant audio-visual plug-ins.  Yet there is nothing inherently wrong with reaching for the TV, the iPod, the computer, or your own chatter to fill in the blank space of your life. Ask anyone who knows me well and they will happily tell you that I enjoy chit-chat, computers and my iPod. However, it is the automatic nature with which society conditions and cultures you to expect a sensory experience in every moment.  THAT is where the danger signals fire!!

What is so unbearable about the entertainment vacuum left when you turn the TV off anyway? Oh silence! There is it again!  As if you thought it would finally bugger off and go away. It is always waiting, like a powerful undercurrent of your life; this immense silence underneath all the white city noise. The quiet space of your own mind will never leave you. Yet, you are afraid because at first glance your mind is not so quiet after all the external stimuli are turned off. It is a claustrophobic, tight and unprocessed maelstrom of leftover thoughts that have not been heard for a long time. Silence demands that you listen, experience AND feel the undigested hunk of your own stuff. Silence demands that you pay attention to yourself. Scary stuff indeed....better run!!

But, perhaps there is a way to be enjoy the soundless quiet if you learn to accept facing the inner reaches of your own mind.   Practice the Mysore Style Ashtanga Yoga method and the class epitomizes the kind of deep inner world that's only tangible in the protected sphere of silence. WHat about a silent home-practice? In the space of your own breath, your own body, your own practice, you build a relationship with yourself that stays with you even in the deepest and most profound silences.

One of the great ironies of the human race is that we spend our entire lives running from ourselves. This tragedy when seen in spiritual terms is heartbreakingly futile. You can never ultimately escape yourself. You can never really be anyone other than who you are.

God's voice is in the silence. His voice guides us through our very own drama, chaos, and messiness. God is always there, waiting patiently for you to slow down and get silent, clear your stuff.....

You can never get away from your fundamental nature forever. And yet you run.....

In Love, Acceptance, Inner Knowing and Inner Peace ~
Namaste,
Trish

Love is Larger Than All of Us

You will see in others what you see in yourself. All of the insecurities you see in others are really the ones you have within reflected back at you. A Course in Miracles states that you cannot give to another what you have not known yourself. But is this true with love? Or does love play by other rules? When we ask others for unconditional love does that mean we are capable of it ourselves? In the total acceptance of our imperfections we find a grace beyond measure and a joy in the otherwise confusing panorama of humanity. Yet if we are only able to love another person to the extent that we are able to love ourselves our capacity to give might find a dead end in the caverns of our self-loathing and the doldrums of low self-esteem. One of the first and exceedingly difficult lessons in life is to learn how to love ourselves fully--foibles, faults and all.

Love and the search for it can sometimes take up a large portion of our mental, emotional and physical space that it can be possible to devote entire lives to the pursuit of love, be it returned or unrequited. Without someone to love we feel incomplete and lonely. With someone to love we are tested through and through. All human beings need relationships to know themselves truly. For when you share your life with someone there is an intimacy that bears the truth and honesty of the soul beyond any theoretical explanation. It is in the mirror of your deepest love where you can see yourself most clearly. Love is a desire everyone harbors. There is a sleeping romantic in every cynic, a broken heart in every hardened facade and a secret yearning in even the most independent minds. We all yearn for the gift of being together in a safe space where we can let our guards completely down and open our hearts with ease and grace.

Life's greatest tests are perhaps not in the grand battles of religion, morality or politics but instead in small acts of kindness, compassion and generosity. Sometimes the best expression of a person's character is whether they're willing to share their piece of the pie or not. It's easy to stand aloof from a situation and proclaim absolute right and wrong, but harder still to stand in the midst of need and distress and choose a caring course of action. When we stand in relationship we know first hand how hard it is to love another person and simultaneously how fulfilling. It is a powerful choice to maintain healthy self awareness while giving yourself freely.

Love is not abuse though often we abuse those we love with careless words and selfish actions. Love is not hierarchical power though its feeling is powerful when shared. Love is not smothering though it flows from an inexhaustible source within. Love is an action verb, yet sometimes needs no action to be expressed. Love is a tenderness that must be cared for, tended to and nurtured lest it forget how to grow. More than anything love is our deepest, truest nature whose real miracle is that we need each other to express, feel and share our love in the world.  "For God so loved the world he gave His one and only son....." WOW.  Unconditional love.  Think about it. It is larger than all of us.

My Cup Runneth Over....
Trish

A Practice for Change in the New Year

It's time for New Year's Resolutions - those passionate, determined, optimistic, and sometimes desperate pledges we make to change ourselves. How do we get from where we are to where we want to be, without giving up in frustration? Consider skipping the resolutions this year. In their place, make room for a yoga practice that truly prepares you to change your life.

Open to Possibility

Change is unknown, and we often cling to old habits because they feel safe. Yet yoga teaches us that change is constant. What first appears to be stillness and constancy in a yoga pose reveals itself to be always shifting, always transforming. The same is true for each of us - while our lives and personalities may seem stable and unchanging, we are actually always unfolding. Yoga teaches us to welcome the inevitability of change, to be curious about where our practice is leading us. When we are open to change, we are better prepared to direct change intentionally.

A simple breathing exercise can help you find ease with the constant rhythm and change of life. In a comfortable seated pose, close your eyes and draw your attention to your breath. Observe the breath as it enters and exits the body. Rest your hands on your belly, and notice the movement of the breath. On each exhale, pull the belly in and press the breath out completely. Relax the belly on each inhale, and notice how the next breath rushes in. By letting go of the old, you create room for the new. Let go of what you don't need, and create space for change in your life.

Expand Your Awareness

Intentional change requires self-awareness. We spend much of our time listening to others, seeking advice, and looking outside ourselves for insight. Yoga teaches us to develop our own insight through careful and compassionate observation. By giving us the opportunity to slow down, yoga helps us recognize what is personally important. A good yoga practice can stir you up, challenge you, and refresh you. What is left, as you settle into savasana or meditation, is clarity. With this clarity, it becomes easy to see what changes will truly enhance your life - and they may not be the kind of changes we habitually pledge in our New Year's resolutions.

Through yoga practice, we also become aware of the relationship between our thoughts, actions, and experience. It can be as simple as noticing how your posture influences the quality of your breath, or how a small change in the placement of your hands makes a challenging pose easier. This process of noticing, of generating insight, seems simple. But over time, as you carry this art of awareness into everything you do, every choice will be better informed, every action more intentional, and every response more insightful.

Balancing poses are particularly effective for developing awareness for a simple reason: without awareness and internal intelligence, we fall. To test your internal awareness in your yoga practice, try closing your eyes in a balancing pose (such as tree pose). Instantly, the unconscious processes that were holding you in the pose will reveal themselves. When you stop looking outside yourself for balance, your internal intelligence will rise to the challenge.

Find Your Focus

Yoga develops our ability to follow through on our intentions. Each pose is an opportunity to develop concentration. We direct our effort and attention to simple actions: staying aware of our breath and our body as we hold a pose. Each pose is also an opportunity to develop commitment: we learn not to give up at the first sign of boredom, anxiety, or fatigue.

To achieve true change, focus on the integrity of each action, rather than the outcome you hope to achieve. To find this quality of focus in your yoga practice, choose a standing pose (such as warrior pose) that is challenging but accessible to you. Enter the pose with commitment, but without ambition. Hold the pose as long as you can, without losing the integrity of the pose's alignment or sacrificing the quality of your breath. End the pose when you feel too uncomfortable or tired to continue, or when you feel a sense of satisfaction and completion. Carry this focus and integrity to every action in your life.

Surrender Your Timeline

Change happens in increments, sometimes large and sometimes achingly small. When we want change to happen instantly, we often give up. Yoga develops the patience to allow change to unfold at its own pace. With time, yoga shows us that small acts, performed consistently, can create profound change over time.

To develop this patience in your yoga practice, enter a pose that directly confronts, and slowly unravels, tension in your body. Choose a pose that challenges your flexibility, but that you can comfortably hold. Relax in the pose and wait. Breathe deeply. Commit to holding the pose for five minutes, or as long as the pose remains comfortable. Notice how the body's tension unravels slowly, but surely. Practice the same pose daily. As your body adapts to your consistent patience in the pose, your starting point in the pose will change as well. Develop the patience to move towards change slowly and purposefully.

A Practice for Life

Yoga practice is just that - practice for everyday life. Apply these qualities of openness, awareness, focus, and patience to any change that you would like to see in your life. While we cannot control all of life's many changes, we can act intentionally to shape our lives and experiences. You don't need an iron will to stick to your New Year's resolutions - a simple yoga practice is strong enough to guide you, and flexible enough to receive whatever life brings.

Get your Zen for 2010!
Trish